We all want what's best for our kids. We encourage them to eat their veggies, stay active, and make good choices. But here's the thing: sometimes our desire to do everything "right" can backfire, especially when it comes to food.

I was recently quoted in a Parents.com article about how parental perfectionism can actually increase the risk of disordered eating in children. And honestly? It's something I see all the time in my work with families.

The tricky part is that it often starts with good intentions. Parents label foods as "good" or "bad," thinking they're teaching healthy habits. But what kids actually hear is that they're good or bad based on what they eat. That can lead to guilt, sneaking food, or feeling anxious around meals.

It Takes a Whole Family

Here's something important to understand: when we work with kids on their relationship with food, we're really working with the whole family. Kids don't eat in a vacuum. They're shaped by family meals, the conversations happening at the dinner table, and the attitudes about food they see modeled every day. That's why real, lasting change happens when everyone is involved. When parents shift their approach, kids feel it. And when the family environment around food becomes more relaxed and positive, everyone benefits.

Here's What Actually Helps

Instead of aiming for perfect, aim for balanced:

• Show, don't lecture. Kids watch everything we do. If they see us enjoying a variety of foods without guilt or drama, they'll learn that eating can be relaxed and enjoyable.
• Make room for treats. A cookie isn't a moral failure. Teaching kids that all foods fit into a healthy life takes the power away from "forbidden" foods.
• Get them involved. Let your kid pick out a new fruit at the store or help make dinner. When they're part of the process, food becomes less stressful and more fun.
• Watch for warning signs. If your child starts avoiding meals, seems anxious about food, or calls themselves "bad" for eating certain things, it's worth paying attention and maybe reaching out for support.

Perfectionism around food doesn't help our kids thrive. In fact, research published in BMC Psychiatry found that parental perfectionism is linked to higher rates of disordered eating in children. But when we let go of rigid rules and focus on creating a supportive, flexible environment, we give them something much more valuable: a foundation for lifelong health and confidence.

You can read the full Parents.com article here: [link]